The Everydad just wants to bang on the drum all day

The thing is, nobody actually wants to see the real face of Goodtimes Everydad. (but you can see him at 1:50)

You can't really trust Goodtimes Dad. Goodtimes Mom will maybe drink a little too much wine, wear a low cut top, fall a little too deep into credit card debt and then pass out in the bathtub.

You might just catch Goodtimes Dad home at 2pm wearing an x-tra large negligee and hiding a dead prostitute in the crawlspace.

Everydads, you just better keep on checking those work emails, stay away from those carnival cruises, and for gods sake keep that shirt TUCKED IN, for the good of the family unit.

You just can't trust Goodtimes Dad.

Carnival.

The Everydad is Just Kidding

Cuba Gooding...senior.



Mom and Dad are having sex again, guys, time to go see a Star War.

Road Trip!

There will obviously be more on Clint Eastwood, the auteur of the EveryDad, but for now we will stick to him in his finest role, that the EveryDad forced his kids to watch every single time it was on TBS: "Every Which Way But Lose" and its sequel "Any Which Way You Can." I am pretty sure there is no difference between these two truck-driving-buddies-with-an-orangutan-Films, though apparently imdb begs to differ.

Confession: I don't actually remember anything about these movies.  But this amazing trailer says it all and provides all the arguments you would ever need to see this movie:



And Maude from Harold and Maude is in it! Maybe the EveryDad has point....

The Most Dangerous Family Photo-Op

If there is one thing that the EveryChild does not want to do, it is pose for annoying family photos. And for good reason: Barracudas are very dangerous. ( via fieldand stream)

And the EveryDad wonders to himself...

Why is my wife so hot?

The Royal EverDad

Most people don't really think Robin Williams is funny anymore, but our favorite EveryDad from across the pond sure does! Here they are "having a laugh" at some comedy thing. Is that Eric Idle in a dress?

But that does lead us to uncharted EverDad territory. The EveryDad would do anything for his kids, even cross-dressing. Also: wearing either a fat suit or a dress has also been widely accepted as the highest form of comedy.

But Robin Williams still isn't funny, neither is Eddie Murphy.

Stop! Or the EverDad will shoot

The EveryDad's the last of the blue blood greaser boys

The EveryDad gets a little weapy by the end of this song. It also has some really great beverage choreography. 



But look at Mr. Tull himself! If Jethro can keep on rocking that flute than surely the EveryDad can live that Rock N Roll lifestyle he always wanted.

The truth is that you can but you are really embarrassing me right now. Aqualung is pretty sweet though.

Kicked out of the EveryDad Club like 10 years ago

The EveryDad that no EveryDad likes: Michael Lohan.

The EveryDad has no concept of his own limits

Dad, I know I've said in the past to get off that NordicTrack, but the truth is, the rest of us could stand to learn a thing or two from your dogged determination. Today we take a moment to reflect that, despite the fact that each and every one of us will someday get off our own NordicTracks, we must look to the EveryDad, and never, never, move that shit out of the garage.

Why don't you call your old man more?

The EveryDad is proud of you.

The Ultimate EveryDad Holiday

As we enter the 4th of July weekend, we pay a special tribute to the EveryDad. If the Patron Saint of our EveryDad is Tim Allen, the Official Religious Holiday is the Fourth of July.

Many holidays combine eating and drinking, but few allow us to enjoy fire and explosives as thoroughly.

Happy Fourth of July, EveryDad. Really blow some shit up this year.

The EveryDad is Gonna Let it All Hang Out

If EveryDad can't play his guitar in the desert a close second will be in a foggy warehouse after midnight, which is awesome.


Unfortunately there is a very distinct point when Eric Clapton himself became an EveryDad himself and probably no longer hangs out during that infamous time "After Midnight" which might not even really exist anymore for the EveryDad who needs to get up early the next day.

The Patron St. of Everydad

is Tim Allen.

More like "50 Ways to Leave your Liver"

The Everydad kind of likes it when moms play this song because it gives him the chance to try out his sweet new joke.


But given a choice he would always pick "You can call me, Al" from Paul Simon's oeuvre. Chevy Chase is the funniest man alive as well as being exceptionally tall. But now that the haze of the early 80s is over, the EveryDad no longer thinks this video is that funny, except for that part where Chevy Chase is doing the samba. None-the-less the EveryDad would still like to be invited to this party.

Once I Rose Above the Noise and Confusion

The EveryDad has never seen this show and neither have I. 

Dad, what are you doing in that trash can?

The EveryDad wishes he was at that party. He also knows that moms don't like it when you come home late.

You Just Can't Kill the Beast

The EveryDad wishes he was playing the sweet guitar riff in the desert right now in a leather jacket.



Happy Father's Day, America.